Memories
by MakingMagicalGirls
Summary: Kaneki's talk with Touka leads to him reflecting on his time spent with her as Haise. A collection of Kaneki x Touka/Haise x Touka. Rated T for now but rating my be subject to change later. A/N: Re-posted due to previous formatting error.
1. Prologue

_Heyo guess who's back and (is complete Touken shipping trash like dear lord save me I think about these two almost all the time and I cry) I mean anyways I have returned and with it I come bearing a series of Touka x Kaneki and Touka x Haise. I would like to warn everyone though #Spoilers if you haven't read Tokyo Ghoul Re and also I started writing this fic before the events of chapter 125. Anywho carry on and ignoring my rusty writing!_

 **A/N:** Reposting because the initial one's formatting got all jacked up (yes I looked before I posted, no it wasn't like that when I posted it) anywho now all you have to deal with is shitty writing! : D

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 **"Are you a virgin?"**

" _No, I'm not a virgin. You know that."_

Instead of actually saying his reply out loud, all Kaneki could manage was to hold a polite smile as he spilled his coffee all over the polished floor.

Her gaze on him was thoughtful even as she analyzed his reaction. Her voice, was that usual touka tone that cooly requested (demanded because if he didn't do as she said he was certain his face would meet the countertop again) for him to clean up the coffee spill. Though voice albeit unfriendly her face was lax, not showing a single hint of aggression. If anything she seemed mirthful after analyzing him, amused by his reaction, and her previous tone of voice was merely in jest.

Of the many things she could potentially want to discuss with him this was the one thing that was taboo. It was like an unspoken agreement not to talk about it or mention it. However, Touka was never one to be delicate about a subject, especially ones that pertained herself and those she cared for.

Unable to come up with a response, he took a contemplative sip from his empty cup. He took a long sip of coffee that was no longer there so he could gather his thoughts, and pray for someone, anyone to come and save him from this conversation. He thought she knew, thought that this conversation was taboo and best left untouched. He thought they both knew not to talk about it, that it would be best if they both forgot and move on like nothing happened.

 **"Kaneki you look like you're a bout to die… Between the two of us the only one who thinks it'd be better off if you were gone… is you."**

Sometimes it felt like she could see right through him. He resented and her adored her for knowing how he felt, even when he wanted no one else to know. She could see past his shallow reasons, and see the deeper meaning to his actions. It was almost scary, unnerving, but stranegely comforting at the same time.

 **"So when the time comes I'll let you do it with me."**

 _Again_

He didn't add that last bit and instead tried to figure out her intent. She'd let him do it with her? Is that what she wanted? Her and him together? Or did she want "him"? Instead of saying his thoughts out loud he took another sip from his empty cup to hide his blush, quietly telling her that she should treasure her "virginity" more, and that she shouldn't be so vulgar. Only they both knew he was full of shit, that he was embarrassed and didn't want to talk about it, about him, about them. That he of all people shouldn't be lecturing her on treasuring her "virginity" that they both knew she didn't have, and he didn't have.

 **"I have one more question."**

Kaneki set his cup on the counter so that he didn't end up dropping it lest she ask him another hard hitting question. At this point he would even prefer her to hit him rather than put him through this questioning. It would have been like the old days- it was easier back then. Where she could hit him and yell at him, but at least afterwards they could both sulk privately, neither of them able to truly get their point across. This wasn't easy, nothing about these conversations were ever easy, perhaps that's why he had been avoiding it for so long. Why he would have avoided it for the rest of his life if he could.

 **"Why do you always leave me behind? You bring Tsukiyama and Nishki with you…"** And those two have both tried to kill him at some point or another, but that wasn't said out loud. Touka had done a lot to him, good, and bad but… Not once had she genuinely tried to kill him as his other comrades have. Taking a deep breath, Kaneki found his response,

 **"That day you when you were injured behind Anteiku, do you remember what I said to you?"**

 **"That you'd be sad if I died?"** How could she forget? It was the first time that he had called her by her name.

 **"You were always more decisive than I was. Rushing off into danger that I couldn't protect you from. All I'd ever see was your back receding into the distance as you ran ahead. Back then I just wanted the strength to protect everyone."** He still wanted that, but things were so much more complicated now, **"I was always afraid that you'd run off somewhere and die without my knowledge."** Even now he was still worried that she might die, and that he won't be there to protect her.

 **"You know…. That's how I feel this time around. I feel like you're going to disappear."**

He wanted to laugh they were such idiots, the both of them. The pain of getting left behind, of worrying if she'd come back, and the desire to grow stronger to protect… It was no longer him that felt like that but her. He couldn't help but marvel at how things have changed, how their roles have changed without him realizing.

 **"I'm always thinking of ways to stop you from going away."**

 **"Then just now that was?"**

 **"Was what?"** She gave him a small teasing laugh, that was much cuter than he would ever admit out loud. Unable to help himself, Kaneki almost felt relieved that this conversation wasn't going the way he thought it was going to. He had thought he had dodged a bullet until she brought him up-

 **"You used to come here by yourself sometimes. When you were a dove. You'd sit down and open a book. You'd often look at me with that same gaze you used to look at Rize with."**

He knew where this was going, and he didn't want it to go there. She should have known not to break the unspoken agreement they had. Not to talk about him or that time, or their time together. Still she did, and he was thrown back into the past, memories that were his and also not his filling his mind.

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 _Anywho, that's it for this chapter_

 _This series will probably be having relatively short chapters compared to my other ones so be expecting relatively quick updates!_

 _The rating for now will be T but later on it may be subject to change due to obvious reasons -insert winking here-_

 _I'm also open to requests, ideas for this fic, reviews are always appreciated, as well as feedback! : D_

 _Favorite/follow are also super sexy_

 _With lots of angsty love - MakingMagicalGirls_


	2. RE:

_A fair warning a lot of these chapters are going to be in short segments as we explore the Haise x Touka relationship._

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When Haise Sasaki first came to the shop called "Re:" he was lead by the scent of a coffee that not just smelled delicious but also familiar. The inside of the cafe was beautifully decorated leaving him and his squad in awe. Even more startlingly beautiful was the waitress that came out to greet them. Just the sight of her had his heart hammering in his chest. Nostalgia washed over him, and though his mind couldn't quite recall who she was, Haise _knew_ that he once had such a beautiful person in his life. Just that thought would have brought a tear to his eye but it was her coffee that had him crying.

It tasted of memories that he couldn't quite recall. It tasted like a home he almost had, and a home he missed. It tasted like a place and people he had thought were gone. Tears spilled from his eyes... He was crying. His mind couldn't quite comprehend _why_ he was crying but his heart did. It constricted painfully inside of his chest, a quiet voice in the back of his head crying, and whispering names that were on the tip of Haise's tongue.

His squad thought he was crazy, or joking, or some combination of the two. His reaction over the coffee was simply too much but the pretty waitress didn't seem to mind. She passed him a tissue, and gave him a smile that seemed a little sad, and a little troubled. It had his heart fluttering and constricting in his chest again. At that time all he could assure he was that her coffee was delicious.

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 _Again like I said short chapters but expect frequent updates because they're so short._

 _(I've actually pre-written a lot of this fic so it's already broken down into separate segments)_

 _Anywho reviews are loved, as are follows/favorites!_

 _Also feel free to send me some requests or ideas for fluffy or angsty things to add to this fic (or even to do other fics)_

 _Love ya - MMG_


	3. Working up the Courage

_Part 3 has come! (I'm also in the middle of working on an AU for this pairing!)_

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After leaving RE: Haise stayed up all night fretting over how he had embarrassingly cried in front of a very pretty girl. He proceeded to stay up the following nights doing the exact same thing. Running over countless different scenarios in his head as to how it could have gone better. Of scenarios that might have impressed the waitress. None of which involved him crying the moment he took a sip of her coffee. "I'm awful. I can't show my face there again. She must think I'm a cry-baby." He got the feeling she didn't like cry-babies. He couldn't quite say what made him get that impression but… He could feel it in his bones.

He would have fretted over it more and more, perhaps brushing that cafe away as a humiliating memory that the Quinx would bring up again and again. Each time they found new ways to tease him about his shameful reaction. He was their teacher, he couldn't have them thinking of him that way. Nor could he simply brush off that cafe. Just the thought of forgetting it, of never going in again, and seeing that waitress smile? That made him want to cry all over again.

Finally, he worked up the courage to the to back to the cafe. He went alone for fear of his squad poking more fun at him in the off-chance that he cried again. Though he promised himself that he wouldn't shed any tears no matter how beautiful the waitress was, or how delicious the coffee tasted.

The first time he visited by himself she seemed just as surprised, troubled, and saddened by his appearance as she had been when initially seeing him. That would have been discouraging if she had not offered him that same heart fluttering smile. Just her smile had him coming back again and again. The palatable coffee was another bonus to visiting.

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 _Ahhhh it's so weird posting short chapters but also so easy to get out faster updates slay me_

 _Anyways follows/favorite are appreciated and reviews are always loved!_

 _As always love - MMG_


	4. Favorite Book

_Thank you for the kind reviews : ) You guys really make my day!_

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The next time he came to "Re" she told him he could ready any of the books having noticed his gaze on the many that adorned the walls of her cafe. He had wanted to one day read through every book there like his own personal library. From the few titles that he had managed to inconspicuously glance at, he had already read them or at least knew of them. If all the books were hers (god he hoped they were) she was remarkably well read, and had the same taste in literature as him.

 **"Here."**

Her voice startled him, his posture going rigid as he was pulled from his thoughts. She slid a book with a worn cover over to him, **"You'll like this one."** Seeing the title of the one she had offered him he couldn't help but smile. Though the paper cover was warn and had seen better days Haise was still able to make out the title.

 **"This one is actually my favorite book."**

 **"... Ah I had a feeling you'd like it. You seem like that type of guy."**

He wanted to cooly ask her, "And what kind of guy do I look like to you?" He heard that women like men that were strong and cool, but he wasn't able to work up the nerve. He'd probably just sound silly to her. A little voice in the back of his head told him he didn't want to hear her answer either. Sometimes when she looked at him, it wasn't as if she was seeing him but someone else, and he wasn't quite ready to find out who that someone else was. Instead he laughed a little, rubbing at the nape of his neck as he took the book anyways. He hoped she didn't notice the little jolt that ran through him when their fingers brushed. It was his favorite so he didn't mind re-reading it. Nor did he want to decline her offer. He'd read a phone book if she offered it to him (only so he could find her phone number). At least every time he read this novel of Takatsuki Sen's he found a new insight to the book, and… It offered good cover for him to sneak glances towards the waitress as she went about her work.

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 _That's it for this chapter_

 _It feels so weird having such short chapters!_

 _Thank you again for the reviews (seriously that's the way to my heart) but I also love follows, favorites, and requests! : D_

 _Lots of Love - MMG_


	5. Sugar and Spice

_Slowly but surely getting to the good stuff!_

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His visits became more and more frequent as their relationship began to bud. Sometimes she'd tease him, telling him that his hair looked like sesame pudding. He'd flush asking her if it was bad. For a moment she'd be silent, observing his mop of somewhat curly multi-colored locks before saying she, "liked it but would trim it if he wanted her to" and that had him blushing more. Her? Touching his hair? Cutting his hair? He could only imagine.

Other times he worked up the nerve to try and be "cool", admitting to her that he was a ghoul investigator in a failed attempt to impress her. **"I lead my own squad too."** He proudly declared, before meekly adding, **"If there was ever a ghoul attack I could protect you."** He said it before he could stop himself, regretting saying it the moment it left his lips. Her smile fell, and all she gave him was a small "Hm." Worry coursed through his body. He had certainly failed to impress her, and for some reason now that he thought about it… The urge to protect her was strong but at the same time he felt that she was strong in her own way. He didn't want to know why he felt that way, but he did.

Suddenly her lips pulled into a teasing smile, accompanied with a tilt of her head, **"You plan on protecting me with that body?"** He ignored the feeling of deja vu that her words brought him. He was too absorbed by how she looked, and how nice her voice sounded even when she teased him. If he could just watch her and listen to her all day then… he'd be a happy man. Just her voice and her face, his paste, his present his future, none of it mattered so long as she was right there. She could ask him anything and he was certain he'd do it or die trying. Part of him was afraid at how fast he was falling but that teasing smile, with just a hint of sadness had that worry fading, and a new sort of stress overcoming him-

 **"I think someone's been putting too much sugar in their coffee or is that just baby fat?"**

 _So… Haise Sasaki started to work out more vigorously…._

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 ** _Also I'd like to say I have a fanfiction blog on tumblr so feel free to follow me there fanfictionrequests_**

 ** _As always reviews, follows, and favorites are appreciated!_**

 ** _Love - MMG_**


	6. WWAD

_Whoops I started school and kinda got distracted buuuuuut better late than never am I right? : D_

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When he couldn't make it to her shop he found himself daydreaming of it, or of her when he had the time… and even when he didn't have the time. Sometimes in the middle of a meeting his thoughts would drift to her. What was she doing? How was she? Did she miss him? Want him to visit? Could she be on a date? He hoped she wasn't on a date. She had never mentioned any guys before…. Instead of fretting over whether or not she had any guys she liked, he should just to take action. Be assertive and ask her out! He was just afraid she'd reject him… Why wouldn't she?

He was a ghoul investigator with no memories and worse of all he was a ghou- Haise shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. It was best not to dwell on that. Still, it caused him discomfort. As much as others teased him about finding a girlfriend (even if it wasn't her) he couldn't find it in himself to date someone, let alone a regular human. His body was far from normal, what woman would want him? Especially, that particular woman. She could have anyone she wanted so why would she settle with him? Why would she ever want him? He didn't deserve her or deserve happ-

Haise shook his head ridding himself of those thoughts again. He shouldn't think like that but sometimes he couldn't help it, those thoughts creeping into his head just like that eerie voice often did. _"I am happy like this."_ He had to remind himself, thumb absentmindedly stroking his chin, _"I am happy with how things are. I am happy just visiting her shop. I am happy just drinking her coffee. I am-"_ Greedy. Very, very greedy. He could feel how his heart ached for her, had he ever wanted anything more than he wanted her? It wasn't just his heart that yearned for her, thoughts of her drifted into his head at the most inopportune times. It conjured up images of her, of ways he could spend his days with her, she haunted his dreams that felt so vivid that might as well have been memories. In those dreams she was a little more stern with him, more rough around the edges, a sharp tongue, and an even sharper kick. He was content with just visiting her shop, he should be happy but it was starting to feel like _hell_ to be so close to her but not nearly close enough.

Haise closed his eyes trying to clear his head but he could only think of her smile. He needed to do something, figure out how to deal with, with this mess. Yet there was none that he felt safe enough to confide in... This was the first girl- woman, he internally corrected himself that had ever caught his attention. Who was he to ask as to how to proceed? The Q's? Absolutely not, they already had their suspicions. Akira? He shuddered, that was a talk he didn't want to have. Arima was the only one that he had truly considered asking but... What would Arima have him do? Rather what would Arima do? Haise thought about it for a moment and the only conclusion he came to was:

 _"Arima would just ask her out."_

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 ** _Weeeeeeeeeelllllllllll,_**

 ** _Sorry for the delay! Anyways hope you enjoyed more of Haise fretting over Touka!_**

 ** _Please follow, favorite, and review in order to remind me to update faster yo!_**

 ** _-xoxo MMG_**


	7. Keychain

_Heyo another chapter yo! B )_

 _Always glad to see people like actually read this or whatever anyways off we go:_

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As soon as he saw it he thought of her. Before he could stop himself he bought it. Only he regretted buying it. By no means was it expensive. Just a simple cute keychain that made him think of her. Only now he had to _give_ it to her. Would she be weirded out by it? Him buying her a present for no particular reason other than it made him think of her? He supposed it would be even weirder for him to just carry the keychain around with him. " _Arima would just give it to her."_ He reminded himself. It was easier to spur himself into action by acting like Arima because Haise Sasaki would never be the type to step out of his comofrt zone and give a pretty girl a gift for no reason.

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 **"H-Here!"** He stammered hoping that she didn't notice the blush that dusted his cheeks. Clutched in his shaking hands was a small gift bag. SHe let him set the bag in her palms, her stone like countenance not giving away her thoughts. Carefully, she opened the bag, moving aside the tissue paper only to pull out a small keychain with a cute rabbit on it. **"I-I saw it and thought it was cute and I thought of you."** Realizing what his words might imply he was quick to try and cover up his blunder, **"Because you seem like the kind of girl that would like cute rabbits."**

For a moment all she did was look at the rabbit, her stare almost blank. Until suddenly her lips twitched into a small smile, one hand brushing up to swipe underneath her eye, fingers catching a glistening drop that he did not see.

 **"I like it very much. Thank you."**

Words came fumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them let alone think about what he was saying, **"W-Would you like to maybe go out together sometime? Like grab lunch…. And go to a bookstore or something?"** Seeing that small smile filled him with just enough courage to ask her out on a date. He wished his voice didn't tremble so much when he asked or maybe he should have offered her a better date. She would probably find a bookstore date boring, he had heard that _somewhere_ but couldn't quite recall where, or _who_ had said that to him.

 **"No."** Like that his confidence dropped and his hearted shattered, but a teasing smile had his heart soaring once more, **"I won't go out to lunch with you but we can go grab coffee sometime."**

 _Try as he might he couldn't help but smile like an idiot, face lighting up with joy._

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 ** _Wow I wasn't sure if I should have broken this up into two chapters or not but I ended up just doing one cause I wanted to spoil you guys with some Tousaki goodness! : D_**

 ** _Anyways, feel free to follow, favorite, and Review!_**

 ** _I also have a tumblr as well: Fanfictionrequests_**


	8. Agony

**Another pretty short chapter but that makes 2 in 1 week right? : D**

 **Be proud of me!**

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He thought asking her out would be the hardest part but… It was far from it. He decided that at least asking her was over quickly. Lamenting over what to wear and do was agony that didn't seem to end. He had gone through his closet twice, and ran over every possible scenario in his head while he was at it. They'd go get coffee (from a good shop that he had scouted out in his free-time), they'd talk he'd make her laugh, then they'd walk to his favorite bookshop. There he could impress her with his knowledge on books, and maybe buy her one while they were there.

He could try to hold her hand… Haise could almost imagine how it would feel. Warm and soft, comforting… _"Like home."_ Came a thought that wasn't quite his own, but it was so certain he didn't bother questioning it. How could he? Not when his thoughts drifted to the most ideal outcome. Kissing her… His first kiss. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like, he already felt his face heating up at the idea. Yet still despite his embarrassment he fantasized about it, prayed for it to happen, and thought about it all night. Even when sleep inevitably came over him it was still there in his dreams.

 _Touka_

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 ** _That's it for this chapter B )_**

 ** _Date comes next chapter my dudes, what on earth could possibly happen who knows._**

 ** _Anyways follow, favorite, and reviewwwwwwwww (my fav can you tell?)_**

 ** _Also feel free to follow me on my tumblr at FanfictionRequests!_**


	9. Dressed to Impress

_**A slightly longer chapter this time!**_

 _ **Hope it's not too bad!**_

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When it came time for their date Haise Sasaki had settled on dressing to impress. Nice slacks, nice shirt, and a pin-striped vest to match. He had even fiddled with his hair for what felt like hours. Not wanting the Q's to question or tease him, Haise had snuck out of his own home like a teenage boy not wanting to get caught by his parents. A rather strange role reversal considering he felt like their dad, or mom most of the time. _"I wonder what they'd think of Touka? Would she be papan to them? Or would she be the new maman?"_ That train of thought inevitably lead him down to a train of thought that was dangerous.

He had arrived at her job five minutes earlier than their agreed upon time (he didn't want to risk being late!). Re: was almost empty when he arrived, save for Touka who greeted him with a wave before rushing off to change out of her work clothes.

Left alone with his thoughts and the shop, Haise pretended to keep busy (as well as keep his cool) by looking at the items that adorned the wall. More specifically he looked at the books as they would make a good point of reference for conversation. Though he was embarrassed to admit that many of the novels he had already read, would she think him too much of a bookworm? Perhaps she had also read all of them? He felt his heart swoon at the thought- a girl that reads was beyond perfect to him.

As he nervously mulled over his thoughts, Haise didn't quite notice another enter the cafe until he suddenly sat down in a nearby chair with a loud thump. Practically jumping out of his skin Haise turned to face the one responsible for the racket. It was her older brother, the scary one… The older male sat with his arms crossed, his countenance not angry but it wasn't friendly either. His look alone had Haise panicking, words fumbling out of his mouth to try and please him;

 **"I-I'll have her home by n-nine sir!"**

Her brother seemed like the typed that'd kill him if she wasn't. The stoic man didn't so much as blink or reply to Haise's words, but luckily Touka had returned. Clad in a pencil skirt and nice blouse, she was beyond breath-taking though Haise wasn't able to tell her that for fear of incurring the wrath of her still silent older brother.

 **"Brother…"** The two siblings shared a long, silent stare before her elder sibling seemed to give in as he gave her a nod, and a silent wave of goodbye. **"Make sure you greet the customers properly!"** She was teasing him now, the slightest of smiles pulling at her lips. That teasing tone and stare was soon turned to Haise having him stiffen and flush instantaneously,

 **"We going or what?"**

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 _DUN DUN DUN_

 _Not very dramatic cliff hanger! We'll see the date next chapter!_

 _At least we finally made it back to the Touka and Haise interactions! : D_

 _Anyways follow, favorite, and review to make me a happy lady_

 _Also check out my tumblr FanfictionRequests_


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